A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (NY)


It was discovered, last Monday, that a tree has grown in Brooklyn, NY. Amazed residents stared dumbfounded at the three-year-old sapling. Two girls discovered the North American Honey Birch (Honeyus Bircheus) on the way to school.

“At first I thought, like, it was just a tall weed,” Melissa Hanes, 15, said, “then I, like, looked closer and I realized it looked kinda, like, similar to a tree.” She explained they had just learnt about trees in social studies class. They were learning about different aspects of other cultures.

Her classmate, and fellow discoverer, Jessica Pone, 15, observed, “When Mrs. Salisky spoke about these really tall plants nobody believed her. We all thought it was a joke, like if she had said that, like, all GAP stores were closing down. It was just that unbelievable!”

They called the New York City Park’s Department. The whole department came down to marvel at the site. The Park’s Department took many pictures of the tree. They cordoned off the area in order to let Columbia University botanists study the wonder. The botanists confirmed that the sapling is, indeed, a tree. Officials at City Hall said they will try to fast-track the tree to be a protected species.

“Sure we’ve seen trees in Queens and Staten Island, but in Brooklyn?” exclaimed Richard Seer, deputy commissioner of the Park’s Department. “We are petitioning that the site be declared a historical landmark.” Although this is generally given to historically significant sites, he believes that City Hall will overlook that requirement for this special discovery.

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